Elaine Stritch: A Tribute

Elaine Stritch, 1925-2014, was a favorite of mine. Her performance in Stephen Sondheim's Company is iconic, as is her appearance in a D.A. Pennebaker documentary on recording the soundtrack of that show, my favorite musical.I recently watched Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me, a warts-and-all expose. I saw her one-woman show, Eileen Stritch: At Liberty when she was on the road more than a decade ago. I've recently been reviewing the recording of it, since I'm about to perform my own one-woman show, although unlike Elaine I plan to wear pants.

Here's my homage to Stritch (and to Sondheim), which I wrote after seeing Follies a few years back.

Hear the original, by Stephen Sondheim, sung by Elaine Stritch, here.

Good times and crap times,
They’re all on my blog, so it’s clear
I'm still here.

Chanel bought at retail,
Sometimes a Target souvenir
But I'm here.

I've shopped at Goodwill
For used pants
Offered phone sex
To buy implants
Watched TMZ kill my career
But I'm here.

I've slept in shelters,
Funded by donors I knew
But I'm here.
Danced on the pole –
My thong only slightly askew
But I'm here.

I've taken handouts
With celebrities’ kids,
They were ironic,
Me, on the skids
In the Recession was I recessed?
Nowhere near.
Banged a Facebook engineer
So I'm here.

I've been through the recount,
Monica’s blue dress post-grope
And I'm here.
Tea party crazies,
The demise of Change and Hope
But I'm here.

I got through Full House,
SNL’s decline,
File-sharing, emoticons
Kim Kardashian’s behind
Witnessed NASA fade
Pluto degrade
The lost frontier
Lived through two rounds of O.J.
And I'm here.

I've gotten through Bushes 41, 43
The best part was when those years ebbed
Jeez, what a dynasty – not!
On your knees, vow “No Jeb!”

Made a guest appearance
on “Reno 911,” then “The Hills”
And I’m here
Not always coherent
But it paid for my cannabis refills
And I’m here

Been called elitist
By bitter have-nots
Got through it while pissed
On my yachts
I should sign up as a Housewife,
That seems clear.
Still, I made it through crises dubbed midlife
So I’m here

Louboutin one day,
Next day it’s in Decades Two
But I’m here
Top billing Monday
Tuesday Gawker asks “Who?”
But I’m here

Through my own show
I once strode,
then a guest on Law and Order,
then a webisode
The posse still lingers but shrinks
Every year
I’m writing an e-book – it’s “content”!
And I’m here.

I live with tourists snapping cell phone photos
Then asking who I once was
And sometimes, “You remind me of someone
Didn’t she used to have buzz?”

Good times and crap times,
They’re all on my blog, so it’s clear
I'm still here.

Chanel bought at retail,
Sometimes a Target souvenir
But I'm here.

I’ve had a blast
And seen it all
Auctioned my past
Held them in my thrall
The internet said I’d died last year
But I’m here.
Hell, I was there
And I’m here
Yeah, it’s me!
I’m still here!

© 2011 by Laura Foti Cohen